I’m supposed to be making Team Meat shirts. I’m supposed to be doing a lot of things that I’m not doing, but that’s a whole other story.

Maybe I can distract the MeatTeam from their lack of custom finery by getting them these awesome shirts to tide them over.

Link via Sean Welker.

If you’ve ever wanted one of those swanky “bacon is meat candy” shirts, you can buy them here.

bacon is meat candy

You get one free when you join Bacon Freak’s Gourmet Bacon Club. (CAUTION: this website commits the unpardonable sin of having an embedded sound file, so turn your speakers off before you visit. You’ve been warned).

No, not hats of meat, it’s the MeatHat - an absolutely adorable quick-knit hat.

Why “meathat?” The designer explains:

The stitches are big and say “basic” all over, but are made with two strands of a slightly shiny yarn that add just a hint of sparkly complexity. The very first set of these hats were made for an art installation and adorned with numbered cattle ear tags. Thus the name, “meatheads.”

Even though the bovine (or ovine) name remains, the choice of embellishment now belongs entirely to you.

There’s a flickr group slideshow of finished hats if you need some additional inspiration.

Monster Crochet presents the bacon wrap. Genius!

I heard an add for this on the radio a few weeks ago and thought it was a joke. The ad might have been a joke, but the product, it appears, is real:

Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo

There’s a theory that everything is better with bacon. We believe that theory with all of our heart. To that end, we are introducing our line of bacon formal wear with Uncle Oinker’s Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. You can get married in bacon, get confirmed in bacon or go to the Oscars in bacon! Wait until Joan Rivers gets a whiff of you. Each Tuxedo is tailored from chemically treated latex print fabric in one of four different sizes. Best of all, it smells just like bacon sizzling in the pan. Dry clean only.

I can think of few things more stomach-churning than the idea of clothing that smells like bacon. Even the idea of clothing made of actual bacon is less repugnant to me. I really hate the smell of sizzling bacon.

The Linkmeister found this excellent (?) item, which we submit for your approval: the bacon bra!

(And if you approve of this item, please don’t tell us. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business)

Did you wake up this morning and think to yourself, “Self, I think I need some underwear made of beef jerky and festooned with rhinestones!”

Well, have we got a treat for you! The designers at mixedspecies have decided to unleash “meat haute couture” on an unsuspecting world and they’ve started with an item they call brief jerky.

The image posted is from the mixedspecies etsy store - I dropped them a line asking for permission to use it last week and didn’t hear back - I’ll remove it if they object.

Another link courtesy of vicarious meatblogger GoshDarnKnit.

I know it’s an obvious choice, but what kind of mblog would we be without the obligatory link to that internet classic, Hats of Meat? Not a very good one, I can tell you that.